Death, Dying, and Bereavement Educator, and Certified Grief Counselor
Dr. Oliver wants to help you determine "Who is going to speak for you when you cannot speak for yourself?"
A blog featuring articles and writings relating to loss, grief, and, of course, death and dying.
Sunday, July 7th
So Your Loved Ones Won't Be Arguing Over What They THINK You Would Want.
HERE IS THE HONEST TRUTH: Making final arrangements for a loved one often brings about more pain and bad feelings among the surviving loved ones than healing. Of course, there is the inevitable pain of losing the loved one, but I am referring to the unnecessary pain—the deliberation over which funeral home should perform the service; the discussions about paying for the service; the arguments over whether the loved one even wanted a service in the first place; the debates over what type of service and disagreements over how the deceased should be dressed for the service. The examples are endless, but I believe you get the picture: If the loved one had just written down his or her wishes on what to do when he or she dies, much of the drama around making final arrangements could be avoided.
Death is an important event—and a certainty—in our lives. Unfortunately, however, like most events we deem significant, many of us do not plan or prepare for our death. When we pass on without leaving instructions about what to do when we die, a massive burden is placed on our loved ones. Many decisions must be made within a short period of time, yet clear choices may be difficult to make. By completing this document and distributing it among those you trust to carry out your final wishes, you are sparing your loved ones the emotional and financial burden of making those final arrangements on your behalf.
Leave a legacy of peace and order by documenting and distributing your final wishes.
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